Sohma's Trip to the Mall
by ChibiMomijiSohma112
Summary: When the Sohma's decide to go to the mall what will happen? Chaos absolute chaos...dun dun dun.  Read and Review please Thanks!  Rated T for certain chapters  :


**Authors Notes: **

**This is my first story on fanfiction...Yay! I hope you like it, please read and review.**

Sohmas trip to the mall Chapter 1:

Tohru and all the Sohmas (except Rin and Ritsu) were sitting in the living room. They were deciding if they should do what normal families do and go shopping...**TOGETHER**! (Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun). Akito pulled out a coin. "If heads we go shopping and if tails we don't" Akito said, then flipped the coin. It started to slowly fall to the ground. Suddenly it got stuck and it took hours to land on the ground. When it landed (finally), it landed on heads. Everyone had to go to bed because it took that long for the coin to get unstuck.

Eventually the next morning they all ended up outside and Shigure locked the door. Everyone (except Tohru, Momiji and Kisa) hesitated to go to Shigure's house so they could be driven to the mall "Hatori you will drive" Akito paused. A drum roll started then Akito signalled and a drumroll stopped. "Tohru, Shigure, Ayame and I" he said. Hatori hung his head in shame looking like he was going to explode into a million pieces. "Kureno you will drive Momiji, Kisa, Haru Yuki, Kyo and Hiro" Akito said.

"IT'S ONLY A 5 SEAT CAR!" Kyo yelled. "Thank you Mr. State the obvious, of course there are too many people, **stupid cat**" Yuki said. Akito thought to himself very quickly. "Yuki will sit on Kyo and Momiji will sit on Haru" he said. Kyo got an evil look on his face thinking about the horrible things he could do to the vulnerable Yuki. Yuki smacked Kyo on the back of the head causing his evil look to fade. Kyo's eyes popped out of his head then back in. "Get in the cars" Akito demanded starting to get cranky. "Aww does the baby need a bottle" Hatori said in a cutely way. Hatori popped a bottle into Akito's mouth and he wasn't cranky anymore. Tohru group hugged Yuki and Momiji causing them to transform into zodiac form. Kyo grabbed Yuki and Haru grabbed Momiji. They all got in the cars, buckled up, and pulled out of the driveway.

Hatori thought that maybe this car ride would be peaceful...Yeah right! Akito suddenly started crying, sounding like a 6-year-old girl . "What's wrong?" Hatori asked, trying to sound sympathetic. "Ayame took my blankey" Akito said, tears streaming down his face. "Ayame give Akito his blankey back" Hatori said, rolling his good eye wondering how he will get through a trip to the mall without going clinically insane.

"No I like the blankey...its soft" Ayame said softly. "Aya give the blankey back" Shigure said, batting his eyelashes trying to seduce him. Ayame covered himself and Shigure with the blankey. Shigure looked at Ayame romantically. "Unnlg" Hatori gagged trying not to vomit from what he could see in the mirror. Hatori thought something was about to happen that would mentally scare him (and his car) for life. "GIVE MY BLANKEY BACK!" Akito screamed. Shigure, Ayame and Akito started shouting so loud it almost shattered anyone's eardrums that were within distance. The yelling was so loud that Hatori suddenly slammed on his brakes.

"GIVE AKITO HIS BLANKEY BACK RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD!" Hatori yelled, with his eye twitching. So many evil thoughts of what he could get away with ran through his head. "Hatori!" Tohru screeched. Hatori's eye twitch and evil thoughts left when he realized Tohru was there. "Sorry Miss Honda" Hatori said his face a rose pink from embarrassment (we all know why). He got back on the road and continued driving to the mall in silence.

Meanwhile in Kureno's car. Kyo and Yuki were in the back corner of the car with a curtain around them. "AHHHHH!" Yuki screamed for the 10th time. Haru handed Kisa and Hiro earplugs (finally). "Haru I can't stand it anymore" the little Momiji bunny whined. Haru put earplugs in the cute bunnies ears. At the exact moment he put earplugs in Momiji's ears the screaming stopped.

The curtain opened to reveal the traumatized Yuki rat. Kyo was wearing an unbuttoned suede vest and hot pink spandex pants. Kinky thoughts ran through everyone's heads. Kisa, Hiro and Haru looked at Kyo and the frightened Yuki rat. The thoughts of what could have happened behind those curtains made a shiver go down their spines. Kureno (who could see Kyo in the mirror) stopped the car and wiped some blood that was coming out of his nose then continued driving.

Both cars arrived in the mall parking lot, parking beside each other. They all got out of the cars looking at Kyo and shaking their heads in shame. Tohru walked towards the rat preparing herself for the puff of smoke that would reveal a naked human Yuki. Tohru hugged Yuki to reveal a naked traumatized Yuki curled in a ball.

"W-w-what's wrong Yuki?" Tohru asked and Yuki looked up at her frightened. "I was tortured, th-there w-were...whips...and straps...and leather" Yuki paused and a single tear rolled down his pink cheek for dramatic effect. "Oh god, so much leather" Yuki said, crying and trying to block out the fresh memories. "That's the kinky side of Yuki I've never seen...Yay!" Ayame cheered. "Hey Gure-san! Yuki is like you now!" Ayame yelled happily. Everyone around the world heard Yuki's brain snap and got under the nearest table thinking an earthquake was about to start.

Yuki's eyes were glowing pink and his hair was flailing in anger. The trunk of Kureno's car started to open. Yuki started to run towards Ayame. Kagura climbed out of the trunk. "Kyoooooooooo!" Kagura yelled. Yuki ran into Kagura sending her flying in the sky and Yuki stopped. "Whoops" Yuki said. Kyo started rolling on the pavement laughing. After Kyo stopped laughing and the 2 naked Sohma's put some clothes on they were ready to go in the mall. "Okay, to the mall" Akito said, marching toward the mall in an army uniform.

**Authors Notes:**

**Review thanks! I will try to get my next chapter up soon.**


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